i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So squirting runs in the family.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
