I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize