You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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