At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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