i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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