Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
