Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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