yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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