I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
