so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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