I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
