as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So gin and wine won't be happening again
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
