The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize