Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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