all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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