Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
