He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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