well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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