Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
