Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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