I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
