I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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