the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
