He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
