'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
farters have to be the big spoon...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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