ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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