my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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