Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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