just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
