Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
