my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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