Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my shit smells like andre
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize