why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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