My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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