You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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