I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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