worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
dude. I can hear the air.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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