i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
