Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
