Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize