you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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