I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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