Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
