Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
