Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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