yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
