the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize