Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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