I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
They have beer where we have blood.
My bed smells like the plague
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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