6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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