her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
