Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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