Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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