my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
