16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
