Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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