Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
