i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
